It’s time to start doing something again. No idea how far I’ll get on this project, but I am working on an 18-bit Sonic game. Much like the Gamegear or Master System.
I’m not sure how far this project will go, or what real features it has. I’ll be sure to put a progress chart or something as we go. Also, hit “read more” for the large photo.
I haven’t had a reason to blog in awhile. Things have been the same nearly everyday, no real projects are being worked on. Anywho, I have been wanting a new computer for years now. My old PC, was an Emachine. Ya know, those old tin boxes that only believed in single cores back in the 90s? Yeah. So I got all of the parts in the mail around a week ago, but I wanted help assembling it. I mean, I don’t know the ins and outs of this stuff yet. My luck, I’d do one thing wrong and KABOOM! There goes the neighborhood…
So, I figured I’d give some background about the upgrade. My old PC, was awful. Even minor things like browsing Facebook became a hassle. I bought that PC back in 02’. It was pretty damn good for it’s time, but it lacked updates and upgrades. It was over-all out of date. The most it’d be good for is hosting a server of some sort. I couldn’t run any games really, even older games like Counter-Strike were starting to lag out and lose FPS. So I couldn’t play any of the fancy games my friends could. Like Minecraft ran at 5 FPS. Unplayable. Less-resource needed games like Halo (Lowest settings.) or Soldat, ran pretty sluggish as well. Emulating anything past GBA was also un-doable.
Now, I can do so much. I can watch 1080p videos, can play pretty decent end games. Sonic Generations ran a little sluggish at like 35-40 FPS, but that’s probably due to my video card. Which can be upgraded someday. However, I was able to run Gamecube at 60 FPS, and Payday The Heist at around 50 FPS. I could go on about the things I could and couldn’t do, but I’ll just post a comparison picture instead. These from my Xfire profile.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go decide if I want to play Need For Speed Most Wanted, Payday The Heist or Zoids Battle Legends…
No no, stupidity is in the water. No, seriously. It’s called fluoride. It’s known for lowering one’s IQ over time.
Anyways, the subject of my big first post is “depression”. Exciting, isn’t it?
I’ve been feeling really down lately. However, it’s not that negative kind of down, where you hate everything and blame everyone. Nor is it that several little things are getting to me. I honestly have no idea what’s going on. I have almost no motivation to do anything, and everything I enjoyed doing seems worthless to me. I feel so indecisive that it aggravates me. I get these conflicts with women, my hobbies, my “things to do”, anything that requires attention. I used to believe that I was just over thinking everything. Maybe I had too much time to think. So I tried keeping busy. Still, the first second I got the chance to think about something, it got me down. I then believed it was the lack of internet. Because when I first started feeling this way, I was without internet. Mostly stuck in the house. However, I’ve had internet for 2 weeks now. Still feeling the same. Most guys feel this way when they don’t have a partner, which may have some merit. However, I hang out with quite a few girls, some whom show interest in me. Though, I don’t feel anything for them. At times, I actually don’t even know how I truly feel. Not just about girls, but about mostly everything.
So, I am not sure what to do. I’ve been trying to find the source of the problem, that causes this emotional dis-stress. But to no avail. There’s nothing wrong with my life. I pretty much have it made. I don’t have a lot of money, or any for that matter, but I have friends, and some family. I have people who care, and I care for them. I see no point in getting a girlfriend right now. Why try to get close to a girl, when I can’t even figure out what’s wrong with myself? Everyone keeps telling me to just do what I enjoy, and things will come together. So I guess I should give that a go.
However, this depression isn’t affecting me alone. I can name an unhealthy amount of people who are feeling the same way I do. Maybe not exactly, but the symptoms are definitely there. So hopefully this is just a big phase that will pass. I surely hope it does.
I do have to thank a few people:
-Grey (RC - Best friend)
Thanks for being around everyday to help. Even if it’s not your attention. We may both be going through the same thing, but this gives us the opportunity to push through it together as well.
-Tabitha G. (My lovely lovely friend. <3)
You help me so much more than you know. I really enjoy talking with you every day. Though hopefully you’ll learn to get on your laptop or desktop PC, whichever you may own, and type to me on MSN instead of from your mobile phone. Though I appreciate the contact regardless. Looking forward to seeing your gorgeous self in CA this summer!
-Anthony I. (Best Friend.)
You’re more of the reality check friend. Which is a great thing. After everyone’s sympathy advice wears off within the first couple hours of it being given, you’re there to give the tough break advice that helps me realize the problem. Although you’re not just there for the hard times, we have a crap ton of good times too! “MICHEAL’S A MONKEY! HER HEEE! HERR HEEE!” *SCREEEEEECH!* Looooool. Must do that again.
And of course, all of my friends and family. Things will look up, somehow.
….I think I see a black dot falling from the sky…
So yeah, everyone seems to be using Tumblr. I personally was used to using Blogspot, but this may come in handy as well. Since I can connect Twitter to my posts as well here. Guess it’s time to finally join the club.